Two May Actually Kill Me

Two what? Two tries at Russian Roulette? Two episodes of "Tool Time"? Two homemade blowfish casseroles? (and btw - there's always a first time that a new chef prepares blowfish: who eats it? the chef?) No, I'm talking about two years old, yo. And the cub. Who has become such an intense little guy my heart goes out to him for how difficult it must be to feel everything as powerfully and with such unrelenting focus as he does. That is, my heart goes out to him about thirty minutes after I'm about to lose my mind or scream or, I don't know, lock him in his room and walk away until it's quiet again. I just want the screaming, crying, unending fits over things like turning off the bathtub faucet, turning on the light in the bedroom, hanging up the towel after washing hands - clearly offending acts if ever I saw them - to stop, for the love of god.

I've started reading a new book, Setting Limits With Your Strong-Willed Child, that I hope will help. But I think he's probably still too young for the techniques covered in the book. And I think it's more than just setting limits. I've also read Playful Parenting but it's not just that, either. The guy just goes to pieces over the littlest details and becoming OCD myself about managing all of these details so that he doesn't get ruffled isn't an option because a) I'll shoot myself first, and b) what ruffles him is a moving target. I'm hoping that this is just a phase that's part of being two. And an intense personality just starting to get its sea legs. He's absolutely delightful at friends' houses, I see him sizing up situations and responding to other kids considerately and not aggressively or anything like what he dishes out to me, and his daycare teacher raves about how smart he is and how he's the best behaved kid in his class and she never has any problems with him and she's only ever heard him even fuss at all just once.

So if he does so well out in other social situations, then we must be doing something right. He seems to be generally happy, healthy, bright, outgoing - everything I would hope for for him. But I'm ending each bedtime cycle either in tears or on the verge of from the forty-five-minute nonstop screaming, crying, fussing and fighting. And 40 weeks pregnant on top of it all doesn't make it any easier to handle.



DrRuth said...

Try "Raising Your Spirited Child: A Guide for Parents Whose Child Is More Intense, Sensitive, Perceptive, Persistent, Energetic" by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka. In all your spare time. LOL. Pop already!

Liz said...

Thanks, Dr. Ruth. I just purchased the book, along with a couple others. There's gotta be a better way. I'll post more after I've read the books and had a chance to try some new approaches that will hopefully work better for both of us.

Beth said...

He sounds like my son Eric at two. Bright, fun, great kid overall, but God help you if you put the wrong number of ice cubes in his juice.

He's 17 now and hardly ever has tantrums anymore.

No, really, he got over it a long time ago... but I've been there and I feel for you! Good luck with the delivery too!!!!